a sense of direction hangs in the air, coordinating steps into euphoria. your whisper in my ear sent shivers down my spine. and still at this very moment, this very second, i'm yearning to remember the feeling.  you've become something more, & we have become nothing less. i've deliberatly left time to watch the clouds go by. a subtle pleasure. if only we could all save time for the little things. we'd be able to stand up tall and look the world in the eye. i wouldn't have fallen over my own two feet. catching me was the best thing you've ever done for me. if only we would stick this feeling in a bottle. nothing would ever go wrong again.


an elixir of bliss.

She wanted to be whole again, but how would that happen? There was no one to replace him. Or that's how it seemed. At first glance.
Luckily, it wasn't true.
She found him.
He found her.
They found each other.
She hadn't felt butterflies like this in a long time. Weights were lifted off her shoulders. The smiles were coming back. Worries still filled her head, but they were clouded by happiness. Not as to go unknown, just, she didn't need to worry. &She did her best to try not to.

Grey clouds erupt out of the black sky, sending down torrents of rain that drown the city. She sits on the top of her one-story house's roof and watches the lightning in the distance.
Flash.

April 28.
I'm shivering.. but it isn't cold. Maybe it's from my excitement. Maybe it's just from shock. Everything is different now. The weight's gone. I can still feel the emptiness, but it's healing. Healing. It's the way they've been here for me. Not forgetting.. just learning. It's the look of blue.

Crash.
By now, her clothes were sticking to her, and her hair was soaking wet. Make-up running. But this time, no tears. Just a smile. The sky was becoming lighter. Familiar blue.

Breathe in.
The taste of salt.
Of tears.
Breathe out.
The sight of blackness.
Breathe in.
The smell of familiarity.
Breathe out.
The sound of raindrops.
Raindrops against the windows.
Breathe in.
The feeling of uncertainty.
What to do.
She doesn't know what's going on.
Why she must feel this way.
Lost; out of place.
Is happiness a possibility?
B r e a t h e   o u t .

She turned up to the sky above her after he kissed her goodbye. It meant he was never coming back, and she was never going to be the same without him. A piece of her soul was left in him. Gone. A void was present within her now, just as there had been one before she fell into his arms. Emptiness. The stars were coming out. Dark rain clouds silhouetted against the gray sky. Her mind was full of questions only he would be ale to answer, questions she would never get the chance to ask. Thunder crashed in the distance. A tree split, and fell not far off from where she was standing. She followed the noise. She thought they had been meant to be. She didn't understand what happened, but some things aren't meant to be understood. She made her way to a pier, the felled tree back by the dock she had walked from. What had she done? Scared him off? It was only caring. She cared for him more than she had expected to. Yet, he wasn't the one to blame. &Even if he was, she wouldn't blame him. It was solely her fault.. at least in her eyes. More questions filled her head. No answers. Tears came at the thought of their memories. She would never forget. She could never forget. She could never forget him. After almost an hour of standing on the old boards, her head turned to the sky, she looked back down. Down to the horizon. The sun was beginning to rise. A new day beginning. A day she didn't want to face. No days without him.
They wouldn't search the lake until weeks later.